Seckzyfine

As of late I've found myself passing a number of thresholds of education, experience and maturity. Hopefully for the better.     But that's beside the point.     I've learned that a number of my closely held moralities were just arbitrary mimicries of behavior that I found to be worthy of reproduction. Namely with relationship and partnership. Without a doubt it is healthy to desire, and it is healthy to feel shame. The lessons learned being left at the mercy of such influences teach one quite a lot about oneself, whether or not an action is intended to be repeated. I could not have possibly felt more for my previous partner mere months a

For the longest time I've been incapable of producing anything.     Lately I have re-discovered my muse in a small flock of insects and my long lost belongings. I am, well, happy, in a way I didn't think I could be. I feel like I have an achievable future again. So while the feeling stays with me, I will continue to do my damndest to make something new. Looking back over my emaciated portfolio, I can't help but feel a twinge of pride. As shitty as I may feel and as I may do, I'm certainly not the failure I often invision. Before I step into the precarious world of optimism, I'll simply stop with this little note. In short, I feel good, and

This week = CRAZY. Lots of good, Lots and Lots and Lots of bad. I can't tell if it'll balance out this weekend. Who am i kidding? It won't. Tragedy and euphoria never truely balance out. They battle for attention, your mind bounced between one and the other. A death wouldn't make you forget a birth, nor would you forget the dead when a baby is born. I'm not okay. I'm fantastic, but I'm also falling apart. It won't change. Ever. But I shall have to take solace in the knowledge that I am fortunate enough to have experiences both good and bad. Man, am I spent.